Can I really show the world a filterless life?
Most of the work that I do involves helping women embrace self-care by letting go of external expectations and social standards, which means that's what I have to do myself.
There are times when this is H.A.R.D. Between the social media comparisons and always striving to find that place where we are finally enough. The place over the rainbow where my doing has finally paid off and my worth is found by my hard work.
There are apps out there that people use regularly that change their faces to make them look more "beautiful". They cover up blemishes, slim noses and define cheek bones. We wear these masks on social media to show the world we are doing it right, we are okay, we are worthy.
What if we all dared to simply come as we are??
Could you ever show the world your wrinkles, freckles, dark spots, grey hair, muffin top? Could you truly show up without the filter and call yourself beautiful exactly how you are?
Can we share our stories , our hearts, vulnerabilities without the masks we place over our own faces and lives?
My natural tendency is to want to show the world my strength, that "I've got this"mentality. But what if I don't? What if things at home aren't perfect, or I have gained ten pounds and have circles under my eyes. Does it make me less? Will the world think less of me in my imperfect state?
At the age of 33, I have lost my brother tragically and am slowly losing my father. I find myself wanting to have everyone perfectly compartmentalized and in control, but I don't. The grief bleeds, resurfaces and things I thought I had already dealt are suddenly back and very present.
I find myself wanting to share with friends and you all that I have got it all together, that yes it is hard but God only gives you as much as you can handle (p.s. I hate that saying. p.p.s. never say that to anyone who is dealing with tragedy). I find myself wanting to be the tough cookie who can handle it all, no matter how hard.
But the truth is... There are moments where I want to kick and scream. Moments I want to cry and stay in bed all day, and moments where I obsess over the cleanliness of my house. There are moments when I just so badly want tragedy and grief to not be a such a huge part of my story. I want lighthearted, fun, travels, smiles.
But deep down I know my writing is about helping others in a deep way. In ways that are more than the physical. I know these trials give me the opportunity to serve others, to help people take off their own filters and truly look at the imperfection that lies before them and find the beauty.
Look at yourself. Look at your life. Forget about what you think you should be. Look at what is, right here, right now in front of you. Look at the things you love and the things you don't love and find something beautiful, especially if it feels impossible. As hard as it is sometimes, the moments we are able to truly show the world our scars are the moments we are able to make a difference.